Vital Norwich’s regular columist Trevor Mindadanger returns. This week he discusses the club versus country debate, Frank Lampard and what the England team eat for breakfast.
Don’t you just love international weekends? Let me rephrase that. Don’t you love international weekends if the boys in yeller ‘n’ green have had a couple of good results. Come to think of it, there’s nothing worse than an international weekend after we’ve lost. Up to two weeks of looking at the table every time it pops up on Sky Sports 13 HD interactive bells ‘n’ whistles ‘n’ everything, and having it rammed down your throat how awful your last result is. (by the way, anyone, like me, often declines buying a Sunday paper if we’ve lost? Go on admit it!).
Anyway, this time, it’s been a lovely international break, after weeks of fretting and, lets be fair, almost dreading Saturdays, I woke up in Trev Towers, on Saturday morning, with the contended glow of knowing that there was no Canary angst to get through, and even better, recent results have got us looking forward to how ‘that new right full back from Stenhousemontroserarbroath Thistle’ did in the pre season friendly at Dereham.
So to England. Can we first establish where we all stand with regard to Norwich versus England? If we had been playing eg away to Plymouth yesterday, and the good lord, or of course, any other grand maker of things of your choice, said ‘ok, Norwich win, England win, your choice’. What would you have done?……………….Norwich for me. Cos it was a qualifier. Beat Burnley at home or England win a quarter final (yea right) against Brazil………….its England.
All kinds of games you can play my friends………eg England`s world cup or Norwich for the Champions league………yes I know we don’t have to choose, but go on ask yourself the question…………..At what point in anything do you say ‘yep I want England to win more than Norfolk’s finest’ Tell Trev, he can keep a secret.
Frank Lampard………. Look Frank, I know the Harry, Jamie, Frank, Lampard/Redknapp axis is contractually bound to appear on sky sports every 3 minutes 27 seconds…………………..(over to our Special Sky Sports 19, extremely important Reporter Nick Collins…………….’Nick, can you confirm that Frank Lampard has actually had scrambled eggs this morning, when everyone, including Steve Mclaren, said he would have, poached?……………….Hi Dan, yes it is official Frank has broken with tradition. Ray Clemence, goalkeeping coach, was ‘stunned’ and England captain John Terry is understood to be ‘livid’ that Lampard has broken with Englands Breakfast Ritual)………………………..Anyway, look Frank, you are having a really, really, no, I mean really, bad trot for the national team………just stop doing interviews……………. I cannot bear to hear once more, that you are ‘disappointed’ or that the team will ‘bounce back in the next game’ or that ‘we are working really hard’ (like we are supposed to say…………ah! bless you, you’re working hard, well done).
Until, Frank, you have an influential game for England, as opposed to Chelsea, where, dare I say it, you have non English, world class players all around you, until then Frank, just shut up. I have nothing against you personally, but just at this moment you represent what is, a bit of a problem with English footballers.
1. You earn more money in a week than 3 sisters running a hospital ward earn in a year.
2. You think that everyone is interested in what you have to say.
3. Just at the moment mate………you’re rubbish! And as for Steve Mclaren. How many of you honestly thought we would sit in the comfy chair, with glass of Mackeson (what?) and wax lyrical over those good old days under Sven. (which makes me think of Ulrika……………and on that note, its time to go.
OTBC Trev’s crystal ball predicts a win at Colchester.
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